- 1 Salmon
- 1 Can of Tuna
- 2 Juicy Sardines
- 2 tbsp of Beluga Caviar
- 200ml Jersey Full Cream Milk
- 1 Large Pinch of Catnip
- 1 Large Handful of Freshly Mowed Lawn
- Ice (If you wish, fish shaped would be preferable)
Note about Ingredients
Salmon: It should be wild caught from Alaska & The Pacific Northwest. These Salmon have a superior flavour and texture because of their diets and annual migration in the deep icy clean water! Purrrrrrrrr!
Tuna: After extensive research I've found 'Orlitz Bonito Del Norte' the best kind of Tuna! It's line caught off of the coast of Spain, and so tasty it can be eaten directly out of the jar! (I usually do anyway, why waste time spooning it into a bowl!) It has a delicate flaky texture and is a bargain at only £10 a jar! Yummylicious!
Sardines: Fresh from Sardinia are the best I find, better than that canned sprat stuff anyway! Remember to check their eyes!!! As with all fish you can tell a lot about a fish from it's eyes! Eg.... Are their eyes glazed over? If so steer clear!!! They may have been out on the booze!
Before you begin making the Smoothie don't forget to lick your paws if you are a Tail (Non Human type, the superior species!) If you are a No-Tail (Ordinary Human type) Don't forget to wash your hands! Put on an apron and a Chefs hat, mine is gold because I'm the King of the Tail Cat Chefs.......Purrrrrrrrr!
Instructions for making the Smoothie
Step 1) Bung all of the ingredients into the Smoothie machines cup thingy and turn the dial to the slowest speed (Don't forget to throw a handful of Catnip over your shoulder for good luck!)
Step 2) When the mixture looks a bit mashed up and mushy turn the dial to the fastest speed (This doesn't do much to the mixture, but it's fun!)
Step 3) When you're happy with the blend, pour the mixture into the finest porcelain bowl, or alternatively just drink it straight out of the cup thingy!
You don't have to stand watching it all whizzing around in the Smoothie machine, you could look out of the window instead! There might be some birds or wildlife providing some entertainment for you! Don't get sidetracked and forget all about the Smoothie you're making like I did once! I went to try and catch a bird and burnt out the motor of the Smoothie machine because I left it mixing for hours, didn't catch the pesky bird either!
This Smoothie is ideal after a night out on the tiles, better than a kebab anyway! If you don't have the actual ingredients I've suggested, you could nip over the fence to a neighbours garden if they have a fish pond, and freshly catch some fish yourself! I often do it on the way home from a night out with the other Tail boyz!
Mr Tigs =^.,.^= Purrrrrrrr!
Here's a song to play while you are making Smoothies: http://bit.ly/bALWba