Monday, 26 July 2010

Mr Tigs Fantabulous FISHY FEAST Smoothie Recipe

  • 1 Salmon
  • 1 Can of Tuna
  • 2 Juicy Sardines
  • 2 tbsp of Beluga Caviar
  • 200ml Jersey Full Cream Milk
  • 1 Large Pinch of Catnip
  • 1 Large Handful of Freshly Mowed Lawn
  • Ice (If you wish, fish shaped would be preferable)


Note about Ingredients

Salmon: It should be wild caught from Alaska & The Pacific Northwest. These Salmon have a superior flavour and texture because of their diets and annual migration in the deep icy clean water! Purrrrrrrrr!

Tuna: After extensive research I've found 'Orlitz Bonito Del Norte' the best kind of Tuna! It's line caught off of the coast of Spain, and so tasty it can be eaten directly out of the jar! (I usually do anyway, why waste time spooning it into a bowl!) It has a delicate flaky texture and is a bargain at only £10 a jar! Yummylicious!

Sardines: Fresh from Sardinia are the best I find, better than that canned sprat stuff anyway! Remember to check their eyes!!! As with all fish you can tell a lot about a fish from it's eyes! Eg.... Are their eyes glazed over? If so steer clear!!! They may have been out on the booze!

Helpful Information

Before you begin making the Smoothie don't forget to lick your paws if you are a Tail (Non Human type, the superior species!) If you are a No-Tail (Ordinary Human type) Don't forget to wash your hands! Put on an apron and a Chefs hat, mine is gold because I'm the King of the Tail Cat Chefs.......Purrrrrrrrr!


Instructions for making the Smoothie

Step 1) Bung all of the ingredients into the Smoothie machines cup thingy and turn the dial to the slowest speed (Don't forget to throw a handful of Catnip over your shoulder for good luck!)

Step 2) When the mixture looks a bit mashed up and mushy turn the dial to the fastest speed (This doesn't do much to the mixture, but it's fun!)

Step 3) When you're happy with the blend, pour the mixture into the finest porcelain bowl, or alternatively just drink it straight out of the cup thingy!


You don't have to stand watching it all whizzing around in the Smoothie machine, you could look out of the window instead! There might be some birds or wildlife providing some entertainment for you! Don't get sidetracked and forget all about the Smoothie you're making like I did once! I went to try and catch a bird and burnt out the motor of the Smoothie machine because I left it mixing for hours, didn't catch the pesky bird either!

This Smoothie is ideal after a night out on the tiles, better than a kebab anyway! If you don't have the actual ingredients I've suggested, you could nip over the fence to a neighbours garden if they have a fish pond, and freshly catch some fish yourself! I often do it on the way home from a night out with the other Tail boyz!
Mr Tigs =^.,.^= Purrrrrrrr!
Here's a song to play while you are making Smoothies:

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Summer by Mr Tigs

"A Cats Tail"

Key To Blog:
Tails - Us superior species.
No-Tails - Humans.
Well I suppose I ought to update this blog, me owner....Or Er'Indoors as I call her has been busy working lately, I've got no idea what working actually means, I prefer the word snooze!

So what's happened since last time, well we've had Easter. Er'Indoors went crazy as usual bringing Creme Eggs home! I'm not a fan of them myself, they make my whiskers too sticky! I sneaked one out of the cupboard once to see what all the fuss is about, it took me ages to unwrap it! Then by the time I'd licked all the chocolate off I'd gone off the idea! I felt queasy for days after eating all that gooey stuff...Yuck!

I didn't see anything of the Easter Bunny this year! Rumour amongst the local Tails is that he got married to the Cadbury Caramel Bunny, maybe they were on their Bunnymoon! I hear Pawtugal is a good choice for Easter.

All Er'Indoors seems to have had on the TV this summer is balls! Tennis, Wimbers I think it's called, The World Cup and The Thunderball lottery! I think it's a way to win cash or something, Er'Indoors never wins, don't know why she bothers! Of course I know the winning combination of numbers every week, but I'm too busy snoozing to do the lottery myself, anyway I don't need the cash, cause Er'Indoors caters for my every need, well almost, next doors fish pond helps too!

So back to Wimbers, an interesting game, I've no idea why they spend so long hitting the ball back and forth to each other???....They should just catch it! Why knock away a perfectly good ball filled with catnip...Strange No-Tail behaviour!

I see they had the Queen of the No-Tails, Elizabeth the 2nd at Wimbers this year, she didn't join in though! She could have knocked the ball around with her handbag instead of the giant wooden sieve thing the other No-Tails were using! I don't think our Queen of the Tails, Elickabeth the 10th was invited to go this year, she would have been too busy anyway, I heard she was the guest of honour at the opening of a wheelie bin in Covent Garden that day!

I was expecting to see Wombles at Wimbers, good ole Uncle Bulgaria...Common is he! He always makes good use of the things that he finds, wonder if he found the players sweatbands or the Queen of the No-Tails hat? They all threw them into the crowd at the end of the match! It's the umpire I feel sorry for! He's always asking for "New balls" I know how he feels! I had the operation myself a while back!

As for the World Cup, I suppose the England team tried, tried to let the other teams win anyway! The No-Tails went crazy around here for a couple of weeks, they put loads of flags out, even on their metal things on wheels....Cars I think the No-tails call them! They even wore the flag on their T-shirt! One lot of No-Tails even had a Gazebo with the flag on it, I noticed when England got knocked out they turned the Gazebo inside out! Most of the No-Tails moved outside during the World Cup, they even cooked out there, I didn't manage to grab anything off their BBQ's not a sausage!

They even had music outside, karaoke I think it's called, even I know the words to the New Order song "World In Motion" I do a great version of John Barnes rap! As for them vuvuzelas, or vuvustickitwherethesundon'tshiners....Noisy things! Every time I was trying to get some snooze time someone blew one! Made me jump out of my fur!

Us Tails have a World Cup, we practice all year round, rain or shine, even if it's raining Cats and Dogs! I'm in a team with Felix, he thinks he's Ronaldo, he's even learnt Pawtuguese! Garfield is the Rooney of the team, he got a red card for snoozing on the pitch! We have WAGs too, some of them come to watch us practice, the others are too busy having Pediclaws or lunch at The Ivy's bins.

Summer is a great time of the year, great for snoozing, No-Tails dropping Ice cream on the floor for us to lick up (They never see us trip them up, we're too quick) And the fish in next doors pond are always at a nice temperature! But I don't understand some of the No-Tails behaviour! Like why do they wear half a pair of trousers? Why cut them off above the knee? And what do they do with the leftover bit? Make a hat or something maybe? I should sport the same look with the fur on my legs, either sell the leftover fur or make a jumper for Winter! Well them Sheep seem to get away with it!

And why do No-Tails cover themselves in cream? Am I supposed to lick it off? I love a bit of cream me, especially that Jersey stuff! I don't know what they feed them Cows, but wayyyyyy hayyyyyyy, it's yummylicious! Er'Indoors smothers herself in cream & smells like a coconut....Strange behaviour if you ask me! And I dread to think what they feed the Cows her cream comes from!

Well it's snooze time for me, I'll leave you with a couple of songs, hope you enjoy!
If you'd like to chat it's @TheRealMrTigs
CATcha Laters!!!
Mr Tigs =^.,.^= Purrrrrrrrs!

Me mates the Wombles at Wimbers .
The Rap (Sorry Barnesy my version's better...Purrrrrr!)